Plastic Grocery Bags

by ~ANT

I think it's a bit of stretch to connect plastic grocery bags with technology and art. Though one can admit, it is through advancements in technology that these bags exist... and lots of them. Reusablebags.com asks if recycling can fix the issues with the mountains of plastic bags and they are not convinced. The Sierra Club also asks the question Paper or Plastic? They say neither. A sturdy, reusable bag makes more sense if used just 11 times.

I agree with reusable bags and use them when I remember to put them in the trunk. Actually, remembering they are in the trunk also seem to create a problem for me. I'm working on that solution. At the same time, until a majority of the earth's people start using reusable bags, I have a suggestion. This notion derives from seeing the plastic "tree bag flag" around my neighborhood. If it has to be nasty, why can't it be colorfully nasty?

I walk out to my backyard on a windy cool day to watch the trees bend in the breeze. It's no surprise turning right I see a plastic grocery bag hung high up in the neighbors tree. It's stuck really well and has been there for months. Off to my left, a half a block over, is another great towering tree holding yet another precious sack. I hasten to call this plastic membranes "sacks" so strong the baggers double bag the milk. (Please note the sarcasm). Bags just strong enough to get your groceries home and maybe hold some dog poo. Thank God for my small dog!

I can't fault my neighbors for "tree bag flags". I recycle as many of these grocery bags as possible, ain't no doubt, but hell, I could fault myself as much as anyone else. Everyone puts their garbage to the curb as best as possible, but everyone knows the garbage men miss. You end up picking up the [bleep] they left behind and move on. Plastic bags are just part of that equation. If anyone misses in the equation, the garbage men or you errantly... on a windy day? The bags float and are gone 50 feet into the air before anyone has a chance to catch them. I don't mind hugging a tree, but plastic grocery bags are barely within anyones control. You just try your best! That could be my "tree bag flag"... who's to say because no one really knows.

One of the challenges of our next generation will be dealing with the "tree bag flag" billowing in the breeze proclaiming the name of a store you've probably visited yourself. Most of the bags I see are tan or white. Sure, there is Wal-Mart light blue or Big-Lots orange, but those are rare. Kind of amazing if you think about it. There should be more!?! I simply don't see many bags of other colors. Somehow there has to be a way to make cheap grocery bags the rainbow of fruit flavors!

My suggestion? I am pretty convinced simply driving my car to the grocery store that we are already polluting the world with all of these plastic grocery bags. Why not make these bags every color possible? Neon, pastels, vibrant primary colors... and make them as cheap as the tan and white bags so companies will buy them. The tan and white colors are boring and it's not as if they blend into their surrounding environment anyway. They're frickin' plastic for god's sake and everyone knows it's not of this earth. If it's possible Canada's plastic bags are landing in Scotland then lets have have them land in a huge swath of nasty colors. Check the Canada bad story for yourself and you decide! The picture shown on that post by Melanie is of what seems to be a tan and white plastic bags. Colorless global conglomerate poo-heads made this crazy decision of white and tan.

I'm an artist and of course... I love color. I figure if I am going to watch a "tree bag flag" billowing in the breeze why not it be a crazy color? I can watch how it moves, changes color in the sun, clouds, dripping wet from rain, or blowing in breeze ala the movie American Beauty. Oh yeah, that bag was also white.

HEY! Plastic people... Your polluting my world. If it's gonna be unnatural... Why can't you make the unnatural, at the very least, have some color?

Give me a color that's interesting to look at if I have to put up with that "tree bag flag". I haven't seen green very much. A deep red would be cool too and not just during the Christmas season.

Bring your own tune and sing to the plastic flag:
Neither college or pro team,
can fight as proud...
as that [bleeping] plastic grocery bag,
stuck on a limb in the tree.

No tool in my possession,
is long enough to help,
get that mother [bleeping] bag down,
Hard to smile and let it be.

So there's nothing I can do,
I ain't climbin' up there,
even worse the bag's tan...
no color anywhere.